


Be there for them when I can't

by WolfKomoki



Category: The Flash
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode: s03e19 The Once and Future Flash, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Spoilers, Suicide Attempt, The Flash 3x19, The Flash: 3x19 spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:11:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki
Summary: Barry just wanted to be left the hell alone. It's been eight years since Iris West died, and then Past Barry comes barging in looking for answers. Barry realizes that this was his chance to correct his mistakes in the past, and so he traps Past Barry in 2024. “Why did you trap me here? I need to get back to 2017!” Past Barry demands.“Because you will always be way better than me.” Barry tells him.“Please! Don’t do this!” Past Barry pleads.“I’m sorry Barry.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The Flash is owned by The CW.

          When Barry runs from 2024, he’s devastated. He hadn’t kept his promise to Iris, he _wasn’t_ there for Joe. He doesn’t figure out how to stop Savitar until four years after Iris’s death. He even gave up being the Flash. Cisco lost his hands, and now, they’re made of metal.

          Caitlin is locked up in Iron Heights, and Julian works there. Wally is in a catatonic state, and worst of all, he still doesn’t know who Savitar is. Barry was broken, after having lived through that future, and he can’t hold on much longer.

          Slowly, he races down to the time vault, locking himself inside.

          “You’re back, Mr. Allen.” Gideon greets.

          “Goodbye, Gideon.” Barry greets, and that’s when he presses his hand to his chest, vibrating until his heart stops.

          “Mr. Allen? Mr. Allen? Oh, my God, what did you _do_ Mr. Allen?” Gideon panics, and that’s when she sets off a panic alarm. Julian, Cisco, Wally, Joe, and Iris were in the main room of Star Labs, when they heard the panic alarm.

          “What the hell?” Joe asks with confusion.

“It’s coming from the time vault,"Cisco calls, and that’s when he goes down there. When he gets there, Gideon shuts off the alarm, and that’s when Cisco realizes that Barry was on the floor. Also, he wasn’t moving.

          “Barry?” He asks with concern, and that’s when he notices how unnaturally still Barry’s chest was. Shit, Barry isn’t breathing.

          “Somebody _help_!” He screams, and that’s when Julian runs to the time vault.

          “What, what, what happened, what happened?” Julian panics, running into the room.

          “I dunno, he just stopped breathing!” Cisco panics, and that’s when he starts compressions. Caitlin had taught them all how to do CPR, but Cisco never wanted to have to do it on a friend. Julian just stood there, frozen in shock as he watches Cisco try to revive the speedster.

          “Allen, please. _Don’t do this mate_.” Julian pleads. He’d already watched Caitlin die, he can’t watch _Barry_ die too. When Barry still wasn’t breathing, Cisco switched to rescue breathing.

          “Damn it Allen, don’t _you_ die on me too! _Please don’t die_.” Julian sobs, watching as Cisco continues to try to revive Barry. When Barry still wasn’t breathing, Cisco continued the chest compressions.

          “No, no. _Come on,_ mate!” Julian pleads. Eventually, Barry gasps for air, and that’s when he looks up to see Cisco’s concerned face looking up at him.

          “Don’t ever do that _again_ , Mr. Allen.” Gideon scolds.

          “Thank God.” Julian sighs with relief, and that’s when Cisco helps Barry up from the floor. When Cisco looks into Barry’s eyes, he couldn’t see the light that had once been in his friend’s eyes. Whatever happened in 2024 had _broken_ Barry, and Cisco wasn’t sure if he could get him back this time.

          “Allen?” Julian asks with concern, as he realizes that he hadn’t spoken since Cisco got him breathing again. _Why? Why did you save me?_ Barry wants to ask, but he doesn’t.

          “Barry. Let’s get you out of here, okay?” Cisco calls, gently placing his hand on Barry’s shoulder as he coaxes him into the main room of Star Labs.

          “Barry.” Iris calls, and that’s when Barry looks at her. As Barry looks at Iris, the memory of seeing her grave taunts him. “ _Here lies Iris West. A wife, a daughter, a friend.”._

“What did you _see_ mate?” Julian asks. He needs to know, he needs to know what he _saw_. Needs to know how to _help_ him, _please Allen._

          “Barry, please.” Wally calls, trying to get him to speak. _"What happened to him?”  Past Barry asks, referring to Wally._

 _“Iris died, and it sent him into this rage, and, uh, he went after Savitar alone one night. Joe found him, the next day, with a shattered spine. We don’t know what he saw that night, but he’s been like this ever since.” Cisco tells him._ Barry couldn’t shake the image of a catatonic Wally.

         

          “Bar, _please_.” Joe tries. _“I wasn’t there for you?”  Past Barry had asked. Seeing Joe being so hateful toward him_ broke _him._

          “BA.” HR tries. _HR was the only person that was happy in 2024, that much Past Barry could see._

          “Let’s take him to our place. Maybe he’d feel better in his old room.” Wally offers, and that’s when he puts his hand on Barry’s arm.

          “You think you can run?” He asks. Barry stays still. _No, I can’t._

          “I’ll take that, as a _no_. Come on, I got you.” Wally states, gently placing Barry over his shoulders.

          “You ready?” Wally asks. Still, he doesn’t speak.

          “Hold on tight, okay?” Wally instructs, and so, Barry does. Within a matter of minutes, he raced him inside Joe’s home, and that’s when he helps him stand on the floor.

          Barry slowly blinks, taking in his surroundings. Wally had carried him here, and Joe doesn’t hate him? When the hell, _was_ he? This wasn’t 2024, where he had trapped his past self.

          _“Why did you trap me here? I need to get back to 2017!” Past Barry demands._

_“Because you will always be way better than me.” Barry tells him._

_“Please! Don’t do this!” Past Barry pleads._

_“I’m sorry Barry.” Barry sighs, vibrating Past’s Barry’s arm, as he forced Cisco’s device inside him. This would ensure that Past Barry couldn’t leave 2024, and he could be there for them, better than he had. Without that resonance field, he knew that Past Barry couldn’t get back._

          “Are you coming?” Wally asks, and that’s when Barry followed him. When he trapped Past Barry, he made sure to cut his hair to match his, and that’s when he runs, wanting to go anywhere, but 2024. The problem was, that he didn’t know what year he was in, and so he couldn’t risk speaking until he knows what year it is, and how old he’s supposed to be, so he doesn’t. Slowly, he walks in the room that he was staying in.

He didn’t know what year this was, so he couldn’t use his speed until he knew how fast, or slow, he was supposed to be.

          “We kept your old room the same, just in case.” Wally informs. It was odd, not having Joe hate him, and it was odd to see Wally up and around.

          “You dropped this, by the way.” Wally greets, handing him what was presumably, Past Barry’s phone. _Thanks._ Barry wanted to say, but he didn’t.

          “Anyway, I’ll be right down the hall, if you need me.” Wally informs, and that’s when Wally leaves the room, finally giving Barry some privacy. Slowly, Barry looks at the date on the phone, wanting some answers on when he was. Okay, so he was in 2017, from before Iris left. Wait, that means that he would have to force himself to run eight times slower if he didn’t want to draw suspicion. Great, just great.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

          Past Barry’s phone goes off, a meta human alert. Mirror Master and Top were at it again. Instinctively, Barry reaches for the ring attached to his suit, until he remembers that he didn’t discover that technology until two years from now. The Team was bound to become suspicious the second they notice that he can run eight times faster than Past Barry, and so, until he can find a way to force his body to work slower, he turns off the app.

          Wally jumps when his phone goes off with the metahuman alert app, and that’s when he runs, changing into his suit as he goes after them. Barry listens to Wally speed off, and that’s when he puts the phone on vibrate, placing it on the nightstand just in case. Right now, he needed sleep, and so, he covers himself, slowly falling asleep as he turns on the nightlight.

          Barry wakes up eight hours the next day, to see food that had been left for him on the table next to the bed. Barry knows that he must eat, or he’ll die. Still, the thought of food made him sick after Iris died, a feeling that he hadn’t shaken, in eight years. Even now he forces himself to eat the food that had been left for him, as the thought of food, makes him sick.

          As Barry ate the food, his body feels nauseated, and he wants to _throw up_. Food was _disgusting._ All it did was make his body feel _sick_ upon eating it, so he eats as much as he can before he lays down, going back to sleep. Barry wakes up eight hours the next day, to find the food that had been laid out for him. Barry stares at the food in disgust. No, he didn’t want food, hadn’t since Iris died. Yes, Past Iris was alive, but _his_ Iris wasn’t, and neither was _he,_ really.

          Barry just lays there instead. He hasn’t moved in three hours, and that’s when Wally goes to check on him. Barry hasn’t touched his food in hours, and Wally was frustrated.

          “You need to _eat_ Barry.” Wally demands. _No, I don’t want to._ Barry wants to protest, but doesn’t.

          “Tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you.” Wally pleads, and that’s when Barry grabs the phone.

          “ _Soup_.” He writes, showing the text to Wally. Soup was the only food that he could eat, and not feel disgusted by.

          “Okay, I’ll bring you some.” Wally states, racing to the kitchen as he makes eight different types of soup, bringing it to Barry’s side. Slowly, Barry eats the soup, feeling less disgusted at the thought of eating. After five bowls, Barry was done, and that’s when he lays back down. Wally sighs when Barry goes back to sleep. He hadn’t left this bed in two days, save the bathroom trips. _What am I going to do? I can’t snap him out of this._ Wally sighs, and that’s when he races down to Star Labs.

          “Guys, what are we going to do? I can’t snap him out of this,” He sighs.

          “Whatever he saw, _broke him_ , Wally. I don’t know that we _can_.” Cisco sighs.

          “Well, being at Joe’s isn’t helping him. I think I broke him even _worse_ by bringing him there.” Wally sighs.

         

          Barry looks up when Wally’s phone goes off, a meta human alert. Sighing, he looks at the alert. Two words popped up on the screen: Top, and Mirror Master. _Shit._ Barry was up in seconds, racing outside the place as he goes to Star Labs, forcing himself to run eight times slower than his natural speed. Slowly, he changes into the suit, putting on the ear pieces as he runs away from Star Labs, going about a mile away.

Mirror Master and Top, had taken over the city in 2024, and yeah, he wants revenge. If memory serves, they’re at Central City Jewelers, but he had to wait for the team to confirm.

          “Mirror Master and Top are at it again Central City Jewelers, _go_!” Julian calls, and that’s when he starts running. After he was a mile away from Star Labs, he turns off the ear pieces, so that they couldn’t listen in on what he was doing. Slowly, he pressed a button on his gloves, watching as a smaller version of Gideon appears in his palm.

          “Greetings Mr. Allen. How may I help you?” She greets.

          “Shut off the power to the equipment that’s monitoring me, and make sure they can’t turn it on for a few hours.” Barry orders.

          “Certainly Mr. Allen.” Gideon responds, following his orders.

          Cisco jumped when the power to the room that they were monitoring Barry’s suit in just turned off.

          “What the hell?” Joe asks with confusion.

          “Why’d the power go out?” Julian asks with confusion.

          “Well, turn it back on then!” HR demands. Julian tries the emergency power. Nothing, no response.

          “Well, there’s nothing we can _do_ until whatever this is resolves its self.” Julian sighs.

          Now that they can’t monitor him, Barry stops forcing himself to slow down, and that’s when he gets to Central City Jewelers within seconds. It was an hour later when Mirror Master and Top finally arrives.

          “You chose the wrong day to come _here_ Flash.” Mirror Master smirks. Slowly, Top activates her ability. Barry chuckles. His Cisco had trained him for situations like this. His eyes moved way too fast for her ability to affect him anymore.

          Slowly, he puts the power dampening cuffs on her, running to Iron Heights as he throws her inside the cell, turning on the power dampeners within seconds.

          “This is _my_ city now, bitch.” Barry growls, running after Mirror Master.

          “You’ve gotten meaner since we were here last. Ah, you’re our Flash, aren’t you? How would your precious _Team_ feel about you, if they  knew?” Mirror Master taunts. Barry knows what he’s doing, he’s trying to piss him off, so that he can escape. Instead, he just chuckles, placing the power dampening cuffs on Mirror Master’s wrists, placing him inside a cell just like Top’s that was designed to blast their own powers back at them.

          “Good luck stealing my city _now_ , asswipe.” Barry growls, and that’s when he races away from Iron Heights, forcing himself to slow down six speeds lower than his natural speed, because that was the speed that Past Barry runs at. Eventually he races outside of Star Labs, pressing his palm as Gideon appears once more.

          “Gideon, turn on all rooms, but the monitors.” Barry orders.

          “Certainly Mr. Allen.” She greets, and that’s when Barry touches his palm, making sure that Gideon disappears. What, he was going to leave 2024 without any of Cisco’s toys? Please. Slowly, he races inside, putting on an act.

          “What _happened_? I tried talking to you, but I couldn’t hear you on the other end.” He lies, putting on a perfect act, of confusion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

          “No clue. The power just went out.” Cisco informs.

          “Well, at least you’re talking again. I was starting to miss your inane chatter Allen.” Julian comments.

          “Were you worried?” Barry asks.

          “Of course not. I just needed something to fill the silence.” Julian scoffs.

          “So you were worried?” Barry teases.

          “Fine, I was worried. Happy Allen?” Julian sighs, and that’s when Barry walks over behind the monitors. Slowly, he looks up to see that Gideon had fried them. Slowly, he motions for Cisco to follow him.

          “What?” Cisco asks, and that’s when he notices it.

          “Well, that’s odd.” Cisco mutters.

          “What’s odd?” Joe asks.

          “The monitors are totally fried.” Cisco answers.

          “Maybe it’s time to get some new ones then.” Iris offers. Barry goes silent after that. He knows that when they find out what happened to their Barry that they’ll hate him after, so there’s no point in being close to them.

          “BA. You think you can get the monitors for us?” HR asks. Barry slowly grabs the monitors, placing them under his arms as he runs outside Star Labs. Once he was outside, he forces himself to run slower. Barry hadn’t seen Team Arrow in nearly eight years after he shut them out. He was just hurting so much, and now he could correct some of his mistakes. Barry finally gets to Star City in a matter of hours, which was very frustrating. With his normal speed, he could get there in a matter of seconds. The problem was, was that he shouldn’t be this fast yet, so he has to run slower, way slower, if he doesn’t want to draw suspicion.

          When Barry gets to Star City, he feels exhausted. Forcing himself to run eight times slower than his natural speed had given him Bradycardia. He knew that as soon as Team Flash sees his heart rate that they would know that something was off. His heart rate was way faster than Past Barry’s for one thing. Another thing, as soon as he runs at this natural speed, they’d be suspicious.

          Barry was eight times faster than Past Barry, and five times faster than Wally. He was feeling lightheaded now, as his heart was beating too slow as he forced his speed to slow. Still, he had to get to the Arrow Cave before he passed out. He couldn’t let a random civilian find him, not if he wanted to keep his identity a secret.

          Eventually, he gets to the Arrow Cave, and that’s when he runs inside, his heart still beating much too slow. When Barry raced in, Felicity almost had a heart attack.

          “Oh Barry! You scared me!” Felicity informs, slowly picking up the papers that had fallen when he raced inside.

          “What brings you here Barry?” Felicity asks, motioning for him to get closer.

          “I was hoping… that you… could… fix… these… mon…” Barry slurs, feeling lightheaded.

          “Barry?” Felicity asks with concern, getting closer to Barry. When Felicity gets closer to Barry, that’s when he collapses, and the monitors that he was carrying crash onto the floor.

          “Crap!” She shrieks, catching him before his head hits the floor.

          “Green Arrow are you there?” Felicity calls into the Team’s ear pieces.

          “Yes, Overwatch I’m here.” Oliver calls.

          “You need to get here _fast._ Something’s wrong with The Flash.” Felicity calls, trying not to panic as she checks his pulse. _His pulse is normal. Why did he pass out?_

          “Barry, please, you’re too heavy for me to carry. Come on, _wake up._ ” Felicity pleads, frantically shaking the speedster. When Barry didn’t respond, she swore under her breath. It was about an hour later when the team returned.

          “I’m here. What happened?” Oliver asks, slowly draping Barry over his shoulders as he places him on one of the cots in the med bay. When Cisco had visited them on his own one day, he had upgraded the monitors to be able to read Past Barry’s heart rate, just in case.

          “I don’t know. He ran in here, and then he just collapsed out of nowhere!” Felicity shrieks. Slowly, the readings came in on the monitors.

          “I don’t get it. His heart rate is normal. There’s no reason he should’ve collapsed.” Diggle states, staring at Barry’s vitals. It was then that Quentin notices the dark circles around Barry’s eyes.

          “Jesus, when was the last time the kid slept?” He asks with concern.

          “Days ago, judging by the state that he’s in.” Curtis comments.

          “Should we be worried?” Rene asks.

          “Let’s let him rest. We’ll check on him later.” Dinah orders, and that’s when Oliver, Felicity, Dinah, Curtis, Rene, and Quentin slowly started to leave the room.

          “Coming John?” Oliver asks.

          “No, I’m going to stay and watch over him, make sure he keeps breathing.” He answers.

          “Alright. Yell if you need us.” Oliver tells him, and that’s when they left the room.

_“You abandoned us!” Oliver screamed, punching Barry as hard as he could. Barry groaned in pain, Oliver had smacked him, hard._

_“Of course, I did! I was just as broken as Joe was!” Barry shouts._

_“And yet in doing so, Quentin died, so did Felicity, and John. All because you abandoned us.” Oliver snaps._

Suddenly, Barry starts screaming in his sleep, the memories of Oliver’s hatred towards him fresh in his mind.

          When Barry starts screaming in his sleep, suddenly Diggle was up in seconds.

          “Barry.” He calls, lowering his voice. Barry continued screaming, his screams became more and more desperate.

          “ _Barry._ ” He calls, louder this time. Diggle hissed in pain when Barry grabbed his leg, digging his nails into the skin. Barry obviously wasn’t responding to his name, maybe he’d respond to his code name?

          “Flash!” Diggle calls, and that’s when Barry slowly opens his eyes.

          “Have you been here all night?” Barry asks.

          “Kind of. Let’s get you out of those machines, that can’t be com…” Diggle’s voice trailed off when Barry vibrated out of the equipment.

          “Okay, I guess that works too.” Diggle mutters as Barry walks into the main room.

          “Hey Barry, got a present for you.” Felicity smiles, handing him a bag of the newest monitors on the market.

          “Cisco will love these. Thanks Felicity.” Barry smiles, and that’s when he returns to Star Labs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

          “There you are BA!” HR calls.

          “Dude, you’ve been gone a day. How far did you go to get those monitors?” Cisco asks.

          “Yeah… I kind of… passed out at the Arrow Cave?” Barry mutters, awkwardly scratching his head.

          “You didn’t have to go get them if you were feeling lightheaded you idiot.” Julian sighs.

          “Well, it’s not like I _planned_ on passing out Julian.” Barry scoffs.

          “You take too many risks Barry. For Pete’s Sake, slow down every once in a while!” Wally shrieks. _I have been slowing down ever since I got here._ Barry wants to say, but doesn’t.

          “So, did you get them?” Iris asks.

          “Yeah, I did.” Barry mutters, setting the bag of monitors on the table as Cisco  looks inside to see the newest edition of monitors on the market inside.

          “Damn! That’s sexy!” He mutters, helping to set them up. After forty minutes the new monitors were set up. Barry goes to his and Iris’s apartment after that. He hadn’t been there in eight years, and yes, it was odd seeing it in pristine condition. Barry didn’t want to think about that right now, though. Right now, he wanted to do something that he’d missed in eight years: see their apartment.

 

          When Barry gets to their apartment, he breaks down. He had destroyed their apartment in a blinding rage, and when he’d realized what he’d done, he’d shut down. He hadn’t seen the place in eight years, and yet, here it was. It was about ten minutes later when Barry feels someone pull him in for a hug.

          “Shhh… Shhh… it’s okay Bar. I’ve got you.” Iris calls, pulling Barry closer as he sobs into her chest. This was wrong, oh so wrong, but Barry didn’t care. He hadn’t touched Iris in eight years, _forgive him_ if he wanted to touch her again, just to hear her voice, and feel her warmth.

Slowly, Barry sits on the couch, slowly laying down on it, exhausted from crying.

          “Oh, no you don’t, you’re sleeping in a bed Barry.” Iris tries to protest, but it was too late. Barry was asleep. Sighing, Iris goes to their room, grabbing a blanket and some pillows as she slowly lifts his head, placing the pillows under his head as she gently lays him down, covering him with the blanket.

          “Goodnight Barry.” She whispers, kissing his forehead as she goes to her room, going to sleep as well. Eventually, Barry feels the sun on his back, and that’s when he slowly opens his eyes.

          Barry needed to force his body to work slower, and the only way that he knew how to do that, was to recreate the sister drug to “The Speedster’s Paradise”, “The Speedster’s Doom.” The ingredients for The Speedster’s Doom were his blood, and Velocity-9. Slowly, he raced to what was left of Mercury-Labs, racing his way inside.

          Thankfully, the velocity drugs were still there. Slowly, Barry withdrew his blood, combining it with the Velocity-9 as he created The Speedster’s Doom. It was then that he injects himself. When Barry injects himself with the drug, he collapses to the ground, screaming in pain.

Barry’s speed was six times slower, but it still wasn’t slow enough. He needed it to be two times slower. This was going to hurt. Slowly, he grabs the needle, fingers shaking as he injects his arm, again. Once again, the drug takes hold, and he starts screaming in pain.

          Cisco was in Star Labs when he starts vibing. _Barry was in the ruins of Mercury Labs. Barry had drawn his own blood, and combined it with Velocity-9._

          _“No, no, no, what the hell is he doing?” Cisco panics. Once he did that, Barry injects himself with his blood and the Velocity-9, and that’s when he collapses to the ground, screaming in pain._

          Cisco snaps out of the vision, gasping for air. What the hell was Barry _doing_ to himself?

          “Cisco? What did you see mate?” Julian asks with concern.

          “Mercury Labs! Now!” Cisco shrieks. It was about an hour later when Julian gets to Mercury Labs, and that’s when he hears Barry, screaming in agony. Barry was four times slower now, but it still wasn’t enough. Grabbing the needle, Barry injects himself again, his fingers shaking as the drug continues to run through his system. Once again, he was screaming in pain.

          “Allen! Where are you, mate?” Julian screams, hoping to get an answer. Barry was now three times slower. _Just have to hold on, a little longer._ He tells himself, and that’s when he injects himself, again.

This time was so much worse. Barry felt like he was burning alive with this injection.

          When Barry injected himself, he started thrashing as he screams, and that’s when Julian follows the sound, slowly grabbing his gun as he follows the screams. When he finds Barry, his heart almost stops. Barry was surrounded by needles, and he was thrashing around, screaming in pain from whatever the hell he had injected himself with.

          “Allen, Allen! Oh God!” He panicked, turning him on his side, waiting for Barry to ride out whatever the hell he had injected himself with. As Barry continued to scream, and thrash, Julian feels tears pour from his eyes. Oh, he had started crying. When the hell did that happen?

It was about three hours later when Barry finally stops thrashing, much to Julian’s relief.

          “ _Julian, did you find him?_ ” Cisco calls in the ear pieces that he had lent Julian.

          “Yeah, but you need to get here, _now_!” Julian demands. It was about an hour later when Joe, Cisco, and Iris parked the Star Labs van outside the building. Slowly, Joe, Cisco, and Iris helped carry Barry into the van, Julian sitting in the back as they drove back to Star Labs. When they get back to Star Labs, Julian hooks Barry up to the machines, and that’s when he sighs.

          “What Julian? What is it?” Joe asks, afraid of the answer.

          “This is a sample of Allen’s cells after whatever Allen injected himself with. As you can see, not only has it damaged the speed force in his system, but it's also presenting itself as chromosomal damage. If Allen had continued what he was doing, he could have died.” Julian sighs.

          “Why the hell would he _do_ something like that?” Joe shrieks.

          “He’s been off since he came back from 2024. I’m starting to wonder if this is even our Allen.” Julian admits.

 

 

 

         

         

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

          “Dad, come on that’s ridiculous. He’s obviously depressed, he’s showing all the symptoms.” Wally protests.

          “Okay, but why would he do that to himself?” Joe asks with confusion.

          “No clue. He won’t talk to me.” Julian answers.

          “Maybe I could talk to him?” Cisco offers.

          “That sounds good.” Iris mutters, and that’s when they leave the room. Cisco sighs when they leave the room. Something was wrong with Barry, really wrong, he had hurt himself, after all. Sighing, Cisco puts the power dampening cuffs around Barry’s wrists, not wanting him to hurt himself, again. It was about three hours later when Barry wakes up, realizing that he had been restrained.

          “What the _hell_ Cisco! What the hell did I do _this_ time?” Barry shouts. Yeah, his father’s death was years ago, but it was hard to forget being locked in a cell when you were grieving.

“You _hurt_ yourself man! What is going on with you? You’ve been off ever since you got back from 2024.” Cisco demands.

          “Vibe me.” Barry demands.

          “What?” Cisco asks with confusion.

          “Vibe me, Cisco.” Barry demands, and that’s when Cisco slowly touches Barry’s arm. _February 3 rd, 2024, eight years after Iris West dies.  Past Barry didn’t want to come here, but he was running out of time, and so, he runs to the future with Wally’s help. He had gotten Team Flash back together, but there was still one thing that he had to do, before he runs back. He had to visit Iris’s grave. Iris’s grave, a sentence he never wants to say, or _think _, again, and that’s when he races off towards the cemetery._

_Barry’s future self was_ broken _without Iris, that much was certain. Slowly, he walks over towards Iris’s grave, his heart breaking as he reads the words:_ “ _Here lies Iris West. A wife, a daughter, a friend.”_.

_Past Barry runs his fingers on the letters etched onto the headstone, as tears poured from his eyes._

_Barry hadn’t visited Iris’s grave in years. Iris West was the love of Barry’s life. Barry had given up being the Flash, and Cisco’s future-self had lost his hands to Killer Frost._

_“I don’t want you to leave. I miss my friend.” Future Cisco had told Past Barry._

_“Want my advice? Go home. Spend as much time with Iris as you can. Because pretty soon, you’ll never see her again.” Future Barry tells Past Barry._

_“You’re from the past, I can tell. There’s no hate in your eyes.” Killer Frost greets Past Barry._

_“And Flash, if you’re watching this, then it’s good to see you again.” The anchorman states on the news._

_"What happened to him?”  Past Barry asks, referring to Wally._

_“Iris died, and it sent him into this rage, and, uh, he went after Savitar alone one night. Joe found him, the next day, with a shattered spine. We don’t know what he saw that night, but he’s been like this ever since.”  Future Cisco tells him._

_“Why did you trap me here? I need to get back to 2017!” Past Barry demands._

_“Because you will always be way better than me.” Barry tells him._

_“Please! Don’t do this!” Past Barry pleads._

_“I’m sorry Barry.” Barry sighs, vibrating Past Barry’s arm, as he forced Cisco’s device inside him. This would ensure that Past Barry couldn’t leave 2024, and he could be there for them, better than he had. Without that resonance field, he knew that Past Barry couldn’t get back._

Slowly, Cisco snaps out of the vibe. When he sees what Barry had done to his Barry, he was angry.

          “The only reason why I’m not locking you in a _cell_ right now, is because I know that you’re sick. As angry as I am with you, I couldn’t live with myself if you died.” Cisco sighs.

          “If I take these off of you, will you promise not to hurt yourself anymore?” Cisco demands.

          “Okay, fine. I will.” Barry answers, and that’s when Cisco takes the cuffs off.

          “Why did you do that to yourself, anyway?” Cisco asks.

          “I had to force my body to get slower, before the team noticed that I was way faster than your Barry.” Barry answers.

          “You could have _died_ from whatever you injected yourself with!” Cisco shrieks.

          “So?” Barry asks, and that’s when Cisco slaps him as hard as he can.

          “Okay, I deserved that.” Barry groans in pain.

          “Damn it Barry! No matter what you’ve done, you don’t deserve to _die_!” Cisco shouts. It was at this point that the rest of the team returns.

          “Alright Allen, let’s get to work on curing you, okay?" Julian greets, grabbing the equipment as he starts to work on him.

          “What if we get one of Barry’s doppelgangers to donate some blood?” Iris offers.

          “How do we even know which one of them is a speedster, or if they’d be willing to help?” Joe asks.

          “Well, it can’t hurt to try, can it?” Wally asks.

          “Cisco, how are you even going to find one?” Iris asks.

          “I’m going to go to as many Earths as I can until I find one that’s willing to help.” Cisco greets.

          “Here.” Barry greets, removing the palm size Gideon from his palm as he hands it to Cisco.

          “Allen, what the hell is that?” Julian asks.

          “Oh, I found it in 2024. It’ll let Cisco contact us no matter what Earth he’s on, if that Earth has their own version of Gideon.” Barry lies.

          “How does it work?” Cisco asks.

          “You put it on your palm, and you touch it. After that, Gideon appears in your palm.” Barry explains, and that’s when Cisco puts it on his palm, watching as it dug itself into his skin.

          “Okay, well good luck!” Barry tells him, and that’s when Cisco opens a breach to Earth-4.

          When Cisco gets to Earth-4, the first thing he notices is the Red Sun on this Earth. The run sun makes the sky red, and that’s when he puts on his vibe glasses, hoping to shield himself from the sun. There, that’s better. Slowly, this Earth’s Flash races by Cisco, only his suit was purple.

          “Hello.” He greets, slowly walking over to Cisco.

          “Hi. Are you The Flash?” Cisco asks.

          “Yeah, why?” He greets, racing Cisco to Star Labs.

          “Barry, you can’t just be bringing new people here. Who the hell is this?” Nora Allen greets. Cisco almost passed out upon seeing Nora Allen.

          “We got another breacher, figured we’d get him to safety before Superwoman comes after him.” Barry explains.

          “So, what brings you here?” Caitlin greets, and that’s when Cisco feels his heart breaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. There may or may not be medical inaccuracies in this chapter.

          “My friend Barry Allen, your Earth-1 counterpart, he’s sick.” Cisco starts to explain.

          “Oh, my God, I’m sorry. What’s wrong with him?” Caitlin asks.

          “When our Team Flash found our Barry, he had injected himself with some kind of drug. The drug damaged the speed force in his system, and it’s presenting its self as chromosomal damage.” Cisco explains.

          “Why would your Barry do something like that to himself?” Barry asks.

          “There’s this speedster on our Earth. His name is Savitar. Five months from now he kills the love of Barry’s life: Iris West. Barry ran to the future, 2024 to be exact, and future Barry, the one that injected himself, he trapped our Barry, the one from 2017, in 2024 in the timeline after Iris died. Anyway, he ran back to 2017 to try to fix his future, but, only I know that he’s from the future, so he injected himself with the drug to try to force the speed force in his system to go slower. He said that he didn’t want to draw suspicion since he was much faster than the Barry from 2017, so he injected himself with the drug hoping that it would force his body to go much slower. What he didn’t know, however, was that that drug could have killed him.” Cisco explains.

          “Wait, let me get this straight. So, your Barry traveled to 2024.” Barry starts.

          “Yeah.” Cisco answers.

          “And the Barry from that timeline trapped his past self in the future?” Barry continues. Cisco nods.

          “And after he trapped his past self, he ran to the past?” Barry asks. Cisco nods.

          “And you’re the only one that knows that he’s from the future?” Nora asks.

          “Yes.” Cisco answers.

          “So, this drug, what was it _supposed_ to do?” Caitlin asks.

          “It was supposed to subdue the speed force in his system and make him as slow as his past self, but it didn’t. The drug damaged the speed force in his system, and it’s presenting its self as chromosomal damage. We were hoping that, if one of his doppelgangers could donate some blood, that it could help him, but I’m thinking we may need some bone marrow too.” Cisco explains.

          “Aw, I’m sorry man, when our particle accelerator went off, it irradiated our Earth. Even if I _could_ help, a donation from me would kill him.” Barry apologies.

          “Well, I’ll just have to go the next Earth then.” Cisco tells them.

          “Here, take these potassium iodine pills before you keel over.” Nora orders, handing the pills to Cisco. After opening a breach to Earth-5, and walking through it, he takes the pills.

          “Well hello breacher.” Cisco’s doppelganger greeted.

          “Well hello. Is there a Barry Allen here?” Cisco asks his doppelganger.

          “Barry Allen died when he was eleven. Sorry man.” Cisco’s doppelganger informs.

          “Well, thank you anyway.” Cisco sighs, opening a breach to Earth-6.

Earth-6 was breathtaking. The sky was so blue, almost like a painting. Slowly, he taps on his palm, watching as Gideon appears in his palm.

          “Hello Mr. Ramon, what can I do for you?” She asks.

          “Is there a Flash on this Earth?” Cisco asks.

          “I’m not finding any records of a Flash on this Earth, but I am finding records of a Streak on this Earth.” Gideon answers.

          “Who is The Streak?” Cisco asks, afraid of the answer.

          “The Streak is Nora Allen.” Gideon answers. Cisco sighs.

          “Is there a Barry Allen on this Earth at least?” He asks.

          “No, I’m sorry Mr. Ramon.” Gideon apologizes. _Well, time for the next Earth._ Cisco sighs, opening a breach to Earth-7.

Earth-7 reminded Cisco of Earth-2.

          “Gideon, is there a Barry Allen on this Earth?” Cisco asks.

          “Yes, but he’s in prison Mr. Ramon. He couldn’t help even if he wanted to.” Gideon informs.

          “Damn it!” Cisco sighs, opening a breach to Earth-8.

          “Risky move going out in public when humans are slaves to alien kind.” Barry Allen’s doppelganger greets.

          “Oh, thank God!” Cisco sighs with relief.

          “We need to get you out of here before they see you.” Barry warns, racing Cisco to the subway.

          “Before _who_ sees me? What the hell is going on?” Cisco demands.

          “Man, where the hell have you _been_ the past twenty years? The dominators took over this Earth, and made us their slaves.” Barry asks.

          “You see, I’m not from this Earth.” Cisco answers.

          “Oh. Why are you here then? Why would you risk coming here?” Barry asks.

          “My friend Barry Allen, your Earth-1 counterpart, he’s sick.” Cisco starts to explain.

          “Oh my God, I’m sorry. What’s wrong with him?” Barry asks.

“When our Team Flash found our Barry, he had injected himself with some kind of drug. The drug damaged the speed force in his system, and it’s presenting its self as chromosomal damage.” Cisco explains.

          “Why would he do something like that?” Barry asks.

“There’s this speedster on our Earth. His name is Savitar. Five months from now, he kills the love of Barry’s life: Iris West. Barry ran to the future, 2024 to be exact, and future Barry, the one that injected himself, he trapped our Barry, the one from 2017, in 2024 in the timeline after Iris died. Anyway, he ran back to 2017 to try to fix his future, but, only I know that he’s from the future, so he injected himself with the drug to try to force the speed force in his system to go slower. He said that he didn’t want to draw suspicion since he was much faster than the Barry from 2017, so he injected himself with the drug hoping that it would force his body to go much slower. What he didn’t know, however, was that that drug could have killed him.” Cisco explains.

          “Is there anything I can do to help?” Barry asks.

          “Wait, you’ll help?” Cisco asks.

          “I’d love to help. What can I do?” Barry asks.

          “Well, at first I thought that a simple blood donation would help, but I’m thinking that we may need to donate bone marrow too.” Cisco explains.

          “I’ll do it.” Barry tells him, and that’s when Cisco opens a breach to Earth-1, taking Barry’s doppelganger to Star Labs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotta be honest with you, I'm not happy with this fic. And without further ado, let's get into my complaints.  
> 1\. Barry's characterization.  
> I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote 2024 Barry. I wanted him to be different from our Barry, but I went about it the wrong way. For one thing, Barry's constant swearing is just...well I hate to use the word cringy, but that's what it is: cringy. Also, if he really trusts Team Flash so little, then why does he care if they find out about what he did to our Barry?  
> 2\. My lack of knowledge about the speed force  
> Before today, The Flash was the only media that I knew about that had The Flash in it. I assumed that forcing himself to go slower would put a strain on 2024 Barry's body, and so he injects himself with The Speedster's Doom to force himself to run slower.   
> 3\. The drug its self  
> The thing I don't get, is why Barry would willingly inject himself with something that he knew could kill him. I mean the name of the thing is The Speedster's Doom.   
> 4\. Barry's "depression"  
> Barry is supposed to be depressed in this fic, but this fic is the worst representation of depression that I've ever seen. Quite frankly, it's embarrassing now that I look back on it.  
> Still, the idea for this fic still interests me, so I may have to do a rewrite after some other fics become complete.


End file.
